Recently my daughter had an accident on the living room floor. She started to splash her feet in the urine like in a rain puddle and I sternly told her to stop. She kept saying “I’m sorry mommy, I’m sorry mommy”. I tried explaining that the accident was okay, it was splashing in the pee that was naughty, but she kept apologizing. She kept this up until I broke into the song “Accidents Happen” from Thomas and Friends (I must admit, I break into song on a fairly regular basis). In response her face broke into a smile and she leaped into my arms for a hug.
I too was a chronic apologizer as a child and well into my adult years. Will she be like me?
Having children is like seeing a mirror of oneself and far too often I don’t like what I see. I see impatience, selfishness, pride, and my own mental struggles. I don’t want her to be like that. I don’t want her to struggle like I have.
What’s to be done? Worry? She is mine, by blood and for life. But who of us by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
And so, I will nurture all that is beautiful in her, and correct her when she strays, and pray, with every ounce of my being, that she flourishes into the woman that God intends her to be. That she will will be spared from my faults and not hindered by my genes. I will be watchful and aware, and if she faces the same struggles that I have, I will be thankful that she has a mother who understands.
Will she be like me? God knows. God sees. We are in his hands.